What is That?

There I was, comfortably ensconced on the sofa in the Airbnb we were renting, reading my book one evening. 

The Airbnb was a lovely place.  An old three-story Victorian, situated right on Keuka Lake, in the Finger Lakes region of upstate NY.  Clean, spacious, nicely appointed. A very large deck overlooked the lake. 

Given we were there in the off-season, and there were no other guests in the other two suites (we were on the second floor, and the first and third were vacant), it was giving off a bit of The Shining vibes.  Especially creepy was not being able to figure out why there was a light on in the third floor suite at night and yet there was nary a soul nor another car to be seen.  And the restaurant on the first floor was permanently closed further underscoring that sense of isolation and remoteness.

But back to the comfortably ensconced and reading my book part. 

That’s when I started noticing a sound and a smell.  It sounded like a spraying noise of some sort followed by a strong odor that I thought might be vanilla.  I am scent-sensitive mind you.  No scented candles in my house.  And preferably not in yours either if I happen to be visiting. And if you are wearing cologne or perfume, please keep your distance from me.  Next state over should do it.

I ignored it the first time I heard and smelled it.  But it kept happening.  It seemed like every 15 minutes or so.  I was starting to feel nauseous from the smell.

Time to investigate.  Now, my rational brain immediately took the podium to tell me that it was probably an automatic room deodorizer.  However, given the afore-mentioned The Shining vibes of the place coupled with my OCD brain, coupled with my overactive imagination, Rational Thought was muscled aside and OCD Brain took center stage with the terrifying thought that we were being poisoned.  Perhaps the owner of this place had a mental breakdown of some sort and decided to off his paying guests.  Death by Air Freshener.

Rational Thought shushed OCD Brain and told her to knock off the theatrics and led me to investigate the kitchen, from whence the noise was emanating.

First thing I noticed was a wine bottle that looked a little too hefty to be a wine bottle in the corner of the counter.  It had a metal nozzle of some sort.  Hmmm, I thought to myself, what in the world is this and is this what is causing the noise and smell?  I picked it up and felt how heavy it was.  I turned it over and saw that it said fire extinguisher on the bottom. 

Well.  Gotta tell you, if there had been a fire in the place, I for one, wouldn’t have thought to grab the big wine bottle on the counter to put it out.  I get trying to have aesthetically pleasing décor, but I think disguising the fire extinguisher as a wine bottle is a no go.  I don’t care that we were in wine country.  All the more reason.  If you have had a couple of glasses of wine, I think you are even less likely to go “Oh hey, grab the fire extinguisher that’s disguised as a wine bottle to put these flames out.”

So back to my search.  It yielded nothing else. 

I texted Dave, the contact name for the place.  He responded with, “I have no idea what that noise and smell could be. Let me add Corinne to this thread.  Corinne, do you know?”

Now, that is all OCD Brain needs to hear to give Rational Thought a hard shove and yell, “Danger, danger.  He doesn’t know what it is. Open the windows now! Better yet, leave!”

Corinne responded with “I have no idea what that is or could be.”

OCD Brain is now calling for Def Con 1.  Rational Thought claws her way up from the abyss and panting, says “Just THINK for a minute and go back into the kitchen and look some more.”

Upon my next inspection of the kitchen, lo and behold, I discovered it.  The upper cabinets did not go all the way around on the one side of the kitchen wall.  As a result, there was like a 2 foot gap between the last cabinet and the opposite wall that had no cabinets on it. 

And that was where I discovered the automatic air freshener dispenser. It was affixed to the side of the cabinet facing the wall that had no cabinets.

Spritzing it’s chemicals, masked as vanilla, all over the kitchen.  You know, where you put food, and opened bottles of wine.  OCD Brain didn’t even get a minute to feel sheepish about her previous overreaction and went right to, “Well, you are going to have to throw out that bottle of wine you left open, sitting right in the line of fire of that air freshener, as it was.”

I texted Corinne and Dave and told them I found an automatic air freshener.  Corinne responded with, “Oh yeah, there is one of those there.  Go ahead and disarm it.” Really, Corinne? How did you forget that and how am I supposed to disarm it?

I looked at the thing and could in no way figure that out. 

I ended up taking it off the cabinet and placing it outside on the deck.  The very large deck.  That is outdoors.  Where there is nothing but fresh air circulating.

The odor was so strong that the next day, while we were out on the deck, the smell was overpowering. That was some heavy-duty air freshener.

Automatic air freshener dispensers. One person’s perfume.  Another’s poison.

But I think we can all agree that they maybe don’t belong in the kitchen, above the counter?  What are you serving for dinner tonight? Some roasted salmon with a hint of vanilla.  Do let me know if you like it.