Erewhat?

On a recent visit to LA to visit our son, we discovered a store called Erewhon. We learned that the name came from a book with that title and is a near anagram of ‘nowhere’.  Which is short for, Nowhere Else Can You Spend a Small Fortune on a Fruit Smoothie.

Here’s how their website describes themselves:

“At Erewhon, we’re driven to enhance the health of our community by providing organic, ethically-sourced foods that support our bodies and our planet.  We find purpose in sustaining a community centered in caring, curiosity, and positive change. We’re more than a grocery store.  We’re a community.”

Lovely.  The only problem is they leave out the part that says, while they support our bodies and our planet, they do not support our wallets.  They may be a community, but that community is clearly one that is comprised of the top 5%.  And this being LA, the chi-chi parts of LA, there is an abundance of that top 5%.

Make no mistake.  This is not a typical supermarket. It is an exclusive, luxury wellness brand.

We walked into the store knowing none of this, and were immediately agog. The fresh fruits and vegetables section of the store looked like a work of art. There was nary a mark, blemish, or fault of any kind on any of the produce.  The reddest red peppers, the purple-est eggplants, the greenest lettuce.  And an abundance of it at that. I have never seen a more beautiful display of produce in my life.

They had an amazing collection of soups that all looked so good. Chicken noodle, lentil, mighty greens, among others. The soups come in clear glass jars with metal lids. They look like your grandmother just made you a batch. You can get a 2 pack of any soup for $50. That’s $25 for a bowl of soup.  They say chicken noodle soup is good for the soul.  In this case though, it’s bad for the wallet.

As noted, they are so much more than just a grocery store.  They have a home collection, wellness, accessories (aka merch), a café, a tonic bar, and smoothie kits.

Looking online at their newest arrivals, you can get a candle for $70.  Nothing fancy.  Looks like an ordinary candle. $70.  Hmm, shall I fill up my gas tank this week, or buy this candle instead? Oh wait, that’s not even the most expensive candle.  There’s one for $80.

Or how about the Liposomal Daily Detox for $74?  Honestly, I have no idea what that is. Zooming in to read more closely it says it’s a dietary supplement of turmeric, milk thistle, and dandelion. Who knew weeds and plants could cost so much?

Perhaps you don’t mind dropping $30 on some liquid hand soap?  If you’ve read my previous blog post on hand soap you know my answer would be, no thank you.  I buy the $1/bottle at Giant and curse when the pumps won’t pop up.  I wonder if the pump pops up on the $30 hand soap?  I pause to consider if they do pop up would that make it worth the exorbitant cost? Nah. I’ve got my system down of simply reusing the old pump if the new one won’t pop up. 

The fruit smoothies can run you as much as $22 depending on the recipe.  They offer signature and celebrity collaborations. Hailey Bieber’s Erewhon Strawberry Skin Smoothie will cost you $21. Sydney Sweeney’s (Ok, who is that? I have no idea who she is and will have to google her) Blueberry SYRN (what do those letters stand for?) will cost you $22. Sydney seems to have a slight edge over Hailey. (PS- I googled her. Never watched Euphoria, but I did watch White Lotus and now I know who she is.  Still don’t know what SYRN means though).

In comparison, I can get a fruit smoothie at Wawa for $4.19.  Or go a little crazy and spend $7.50 at the local coffee shop. That’s the high end for a smoothie around here.

I half thought about splurging on a fruit smoothie while we were there. However, the line to get one was ridiculously long.  It’s one thing to charge me an insane amount of money for a smoothie, but then to expect me to wait in a long line to then fork over my hard-earned money for it? Hard pass. 

But there were plenty of people for whom neither the cost nor the line was a problem.  Clearly part of the caché, as with any luxury brand, is to be seen either waiting in line or around town with your Erewhon smoothie, or whatever your Erewhon purchase is. 

As much as we were in awe of the store and everything in it, and we very much were in awe, the entire experience ended up being a hard pass.

I thought maybe I could pick up some merch at the very least.  The hoodie, maybe? What? $170?!  No.  Maybe the totebag? $65. No.  The baseball cap? $95. No.

Everything was LA expensive. Philly expensive doesn’t even come close to LA expensive.  Around here we think Whole Foods is out of reach.  Folks call it Whole Paycheck.  I don’t know what they’d say about Erewhon.  Maybe Eregoes My Yearly Salary. Or Erewhonder If I Can Take Out a Second Mortgage. Or Youse Guys Are F*&%ing Expensive.

Erewhon.  Feel free to visit it the next time you are in LA.  Just make sure your bank account will still have a balance in it by the time you leave.