Aging, Chapter 1,021
There are lots of double good stuff. Double shots, double headers, double dates, double deckers, double scoops, to name a few. I hesitate to include Double Stuff Oreos in this list though. For me, the extra white stuff throws off the ratio of cookie to cream.
But. What is clearly not a good double thing is Double Voiding.
This is a new term I just learned about the other day while at a check-up with my doctor.
Doctor: How is your bladder, kidney, urine function?
Me: Fine. Except, recently I noticed that after peeing and pulling up my pants, more pee comes out and requires an underwear and clothing change.
Doctor: Oh yes. That is called Double Voiding. Nothing serious. Part of the aging process.
Argh. There it is. Part of the Aging Process rears it’s wrinkly, gnarly head again. Just when you have accepted all the other Parts of the Aging Process, another one comes along to join the gang. Memory loss, wrinkly/saggy skin, hearing loss, new hair growth in all the wrong places, lower back pain, achy joints are all like, hey, gang, we have a new member! Double Voiding, nice to meet you! Welcome! The party just got even more fun!
I seem to be accumulating more Parts of the Aging Process that I think I might be morphing into some other kind of being. Kind of like the Infected in The Last of Us. But without the biting other people part. And the ability to move really fast. So far, anyway.
The doctor continued:
Doctor: Just sit there for an extra minute or so, or give another wipe after standing up, before zipping up.
I did not need the doctor to give me that advice. I was pretty much able to figure that one out on my own. My critical thinking skills are still intact, thankfully.
As always though, whenever the Aging Process makes its presence known to me, I humbly give thanks for the privilege I’ve thus far been given to be able to age. I know not everyone is so lucky.
So. Bring it on. Double Voiding. Check. What’s next? I don’t know yet. But if I am lucky, I will be around to find out.