When in Switzerland

Fondue.  More like, Fondon’t.

Ernie and I were in Switzerland for three days recently.  While there, Ernie said we had to try the fondue.

Me: Why?

Ernie: Because we are in Switzerland. We have to try the local foods.

Me: Ok. But it’s like a snack, right? It’s not meant to be dinner?

Ernie: Oh no. It’s dinner.

That’s where he lost me.  How can a pot of melted cheese be dinner? Don’t get me wrong.  I love cheese.  In fact, many a night, a plate of cheese has been my dinner.  See my previous blog post titled Girl Dinner.

But there’s a difference between a nice assortment of cheese, charcuterie, fruit, nuts, hummus and a pot of melted cheese.

I put that aside though because Ernie was really into wanting to have the fondue and we do like experiencing the local foods (Note: there will always be some exceptions to that.  For example, I will never be having haggis whenever I make it to Scotland.  My apologies to Anthony Bourdain though, who was always up for trying any food anywhere).

A quick online search told us that the Fondue House Dupont was the best place in Lucerne to have fondue. I mean, they’ve got Fondue in their name.  What more do you need to know?

Clearly everyone got the same info because the place was packed.  With tourists.  Hmm, I wondered.  Do the Swiss not actually eat fondue themselves? Or is there some other place at which they are eating?

We ordered the basic fondue dinner.  A pot of melted cheese that comes with boiled potatoes and bread.  Is your mouth watering yet? Does that sound just so delectable you wish you were there and could have it?  No? Exactly. Same here.

We decided to order a side of vegetables to try and make this meal a little more healthy and/or interesting.  It really didn’t though.  They were boiled vegetables. 

There was no seasoning on anything. Not the potatoes, not the veggies.

There was some seasoning you could sprinkle on your melted cheese though. Nothing too exciting however.

When the waitress brought out the fondue, it came with instructions. I don’t know, call me old school, but I prefer that my dinner does not require an instruction manual.

We had to make sure to keep stirring the fondue or it would stick and burn on the bottom.

Additionally, we had to monitor the flame and adjust it lower to help avoid the burning on the bottom issue and to keep it from being too hot while we ate the cheese as there would be less of it.

We dig, er dip, in. 

It is exactly what you’d expect a boiled potato to taste like that’s been dipped into melted cheese.

At a certain point, you just can’t eat anymore.  In my case, it was fairly early on with a good amount of fondue still in the pot.  Ernie could not let it go to waste so he kept at it. A decision he regretted later that evening.

And for that completely underwhelming experience we had the privilege of paying 49 francs per person, which is $62.37 US.  Per person.  We paid $124.74 for melted cheese, a few boiled potatoes, and a few pieces of bread.  On top of that, the boiled veggies were $12.80.  I forget the price of the wine, but it wasn’t cheap.  Nothing in Switzerland is.

The moral of the story is, if your choice is fondue or fondon’t, my recommendation? Fondon’t.