Seeing STARZ
Good lord. All I wanted was to be able to watch Season 8 of Outlander.
For the past 7 seasons of Outlander which started 12 years ago, I always would take advantage of their 6 months for $24 deal. Never had a problem.
Until this year. Blood of My Blood, a prequel to Outlanders, came out in August. I signed up to STARZ for a year, knowing that Outlander would be coming out in March. I would be all set.
Ah. But beware. The best laid plans…
On Tuesday, I tried to access STARZ on my tv in readiness for Friday’s Outlander premier.
What’s this? My tv was telling me I need to pay $10.99/month to subscribe. But. But. But. I already have a subscription.
And just like Helen’s beauty launched a thousand ships that message launched a thousand emails with STARZ customer service.
Ok, I exaggerate. Not a thousand. Six. If I am being generous, that’s, let’s say, 4 too many. And even after six emails, the net result makes no sense whatsoever.
Let’s break it down.
First email I sent outlined the problem in excellent detail if I say so myself. My thought being that by providing all the details it would curtail any unnecessary back and forth. Au contraire.
The first response was simply the generic customer service template letting me know that they received my email and that someone would get back to me. Ok. Fine.
It wasn’t too long before Daniel replied to me. I thought, well this is nice. They are quick to respond. That’s good. My good will toward them would prove to be misplaced.
Daniel had a question for me. Dang. “What kind of tv do you have,” he asked. I had not anticipated that question. No worries though, that was an easy peasy one to answer.
I responded with, “It’s a Hitachi. It’s old. It is not smart.”
Maybe Daniel didn’t like my answer or he wasn’t sure how to solve my problem, or it just wasn’t his turn in the customer service carousel to respond.
Because next up was Tameka. She was from the Billing and Technical Team. Whoa. Guessing I got an upgrade in service because Daniel was just Daniel from Customer Service.
Also, how do Billing and Technical go together?! Seems like an odd pairing to me. But if she can help me what do I care how STARZ sets up their corporate departments?
Tameka couldn’t help me. She asked some more questions about whether I was a Comcast subscriber or Amazon Prime. She was not the least interested in knowing what kind of tv I had. She said that if I had Comcast or Prime, I would need to subscribe directly through them. Completely ignoring the point that I ALREADY HAD A SUBSCRIPTION.
I answered her question, which was info I had carefully included in my initial email, but she seemingly had overlooked that. So I restated that our service was through Comcast/Infinity. And that when I tried to enter through that, it wouldn’t let me, it kept asking me to subscribe for $10.99/month. And, wait for it, I ALREADY HAD A SUBSCRIPTION.
I did not use all caps in my communication. I am polite, would never yell, and am not stupid. I needed their help and I believe in the adage that you catch more flies with honey.
Monique responded. She was tag-teaming with Tameka. Told me she works with Tameka on the Billing and Technical Team. As if to say, “I am fully aware of the details of your situation.” But yet, she was not. I let her know I still was not able to access STARZ on my tv.
Romina from Customer Support responded next. Billing and Technical tapped out, I guess.
She confirmed what I already knew, which was that I am subscribed to STARZ. Gave me essentially the same direction as to how I should log on via the tv that has now been given to me previously like 3 times and which clearly WASN’T WORKING.
She also asked me for the model number of my tv. Oh my. Suddenly what kind of tv I had was part of the conversation again. And not just what kind, but now what model number. Fortunately we keep the manual for the tv in the console table upon which the tv sits.
While the effort to provide that info wasn’t egregious, it was still frustrating. I was four people in trying to solve this problem: Daniel, Tameka, Monique, and now Romina. And I was no closer to resolution. And I started this request for help on Tuesday. And it was now Thursday and Outlander was airing Friday.
I responded to Romina, with all the same info I previously responded to Daniel, Tameka, and Monique, along with the model number of my old, not smart Hitachi tv.
It was Friday. The day of reckoning. Outlander was premiering at 8 pm that evening. Would I be able to watch it?
Graciela responded She informed me that I cannot watch it on the tv. That my subscription was for streaming only. It would not work through Comcast/Xfinity. She told me I could watch it on my phone, or my tablet, or my laptop. Otherwise, I’d have to pay a separate subscription fee of $10.99 through Comcast.
WHAT THE WHAT?!
It took 5 people and 3 days to tell me this? And why?
I swear I did nothing differently when I subscribed to STARZ in August and in fact, proof point, I was able to watch Blood of My Blood on the old, not smart Hitachi model number P55T551. SO WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED BETWEEN AUGUST AND NOW?
I tried. I gave it my best effort. But the STARZ customer service team, including their Billing and Technical team, wore me down. They were nice, polite, responsive. But UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY USELESS.
I wasn’t going to give up though. It’s not in my DNA. The Morroney DNA is encoded with the ‘Never Give Up’ gene. This can be sometimes confused with, because it is quite akin to, the “Stubborn” gene, which is also deeply embedded in the Morroney DNA. I couldn’t give up even if I wanted to.
I girded myself for Round 6. That meant searching for a phone number. Enough with email. Finding an actual phone number to speak with an actual person is a whole other battle entirely. It takes immense fortitude. Season 8 of Outlander was calling me though and I could not miss it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At that point though, Ernie said to me, “Hey. I think I know how you can watch it. “
He told me that Amy and Jake (my daughter and son-in-law who are living with us temporarily) have an Apple subscription. He told me he thought we could access Outlander that way.
The heavens parted and the angelic host could be heard singing on high.
It worked.
So, how many STARZ customer service reps does it take to solve a problem? I’ll never know since I found my own work around after 5 reps got me nowhere. At least I did not have to plunk down for another subscription at a cost of $10.99/month.
I would say lucky for me that this is the last season of Outlander. But, season 2 of Blood of My Blood will be here before you know it.
Let’s hope it won’t be deja vú all over again.