Pumpkin Concierge
What do you suppose might be some signs of a society going soft? Might one of them be paying $1,400.00 for someone to place some pumpkins on your porch, along with a bale of hay or two?
Walking through the neighborhood the other day, I noticed a sign on a lawn that said Penn Pumpkin Concierge Pumpkin Delivery and Design. Looking up to the porch, I saw a few pumpkins by the front door. You know. Like if you went to a local nursery, or supermarket, or Lowe’s yourself and bought a few pumpkins and placed them by your front door.
It looked nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing at all like some Pumpkin design guru with a degree in Pumpkinology or who apprenticed for years under a Master Pumpkinologist Designer was at work. I mean, if you are calling in the specialists, I would expect some jaw dropping, spectacular display of pumpkins.
Intrigued, I googled the company when I got home.
Their site encourages you to:
“Make Your Porch Pop This Fall. Elegant, seasonal pumpkin displays delivered and arranged to welcome autumn style.”
The cheapest package, a Touch of Fall, starts at $250.00-$400.00. It tops out at their Pumpkin Palooza package which goes for $1,225.00 to $1400.00
Your Touch of Fall will set you back more than a touch. What does one get for it?
It reads:
“Add a sprinkle of autumn charm to your home. With their adorable sizes and vibrant colors, these little beauties bring the essence of fall into any space without overwhelming your décor. Ideal for those who appreciate the subtle touch of seasonal spirit.”
Hmm, some code words there. Adorable sizes (small), essence of fall (bare minimum), without overwhelming your décor (bare minimum), and subtle touch (again, bare minimum). Seems like a lot of money to me for a bare minimum fall expression.
Reading on I see that for my $250.00 to $400.00 I get 4 large, 4 medium, 10 Pie Pumpkins, 4 specialty White Ghosts. They don’t really distinguish the difference between the $250 vs the $400 package.
They throw in some mini pumpkins and gourds with all packages. How generous of them.
And the picture they show you to illustrate this package? Pumpkins that are just kind of plopped there, on either side of the front door. If you have steps, they place them on the steps. I kid you not. My one year old granddaughter could have accomplished the same effect.
So what do you get for your $1400.00 Pumpkin Palooza? It’s got to be grand, no?
First of all, the picture? It looks like some Jolly Orange Pumpkin Giant vomited pumpkins on your doorstep. Just mounds of pumpkins. Willy nilly mounds of pumpkins. Where’s the artful design?
Here’s the description:
“Our biggest and grandest porch display (code: you are going to pay a lot of money). Perfect for very large porches or someone looking to add a touch of pumpkin flair to multiple locations (code: you must be rich and have a big house because who ever heard of a small house having a very large porch and also big if you have multiple locations).”
Here’s what you get:
2 Grand Prize Pumpkins (code: cha-ching), 10 Large, 8 Medium, 18 Pie Pumpkins, 14 specialty White Ghosts, and wait for it…2-3 Hale Bays.
And these pumpkins? They are just pumpkins. No carvings. No special hand painting designs on them. Just. Pumpkins.
Do you know what Walmart is selling pumpkins for? $3.97 for a regular one. $2.96 for the Pie ones. $3.28 for a 5 count of mini ones. Hay bales run from $5 to $10. Let’s do the math here….well, heck, we don’t really have to do the math here to know you don’t need to spend $400.00 for a Touch of Fall or $1400 for a Pumpkin Palooza. That you can do it yourself, for waaaaayyyyy less. And it’s not like you are getting any special design service. You really are just overpaying for pumpkins. Just so you don’t have to buy them yourself and to have it done for you.
So where does that leave us? (Haha, “leave” us, seasonal pun not intended). It brings us back to the start of this blog and the question posed about possible signs that we have gone soft as a society. Soft, and rich? If you’ve got the money, and you don’t have the time or inclination to go to Walmart to buy a few pumpkins and place them on your porch, or have your one year old do it for you to the same effect, then you can pay a premium for that service. It’s all about the decisions we make with whatever disposable income we have on hand.
Me? Even if I had the money, suffice it to say, there would be no Pumpkin Concierge sign going up on my lawn. I will keep providing that Pop of Fall myself. Heck, I actually am closer to the Palooza because I usually also include some corn stalks in my display, along with some mums, and a bale of hale. But anyway, no need to outsource it at exorbitant cost.
My disposable income? Expensive pepperoni pizza at Maple Glen, Super Soft Charmin toilet paper, and Puffs Plus tissues in the square box, not the rectangle one. Ah. Now that’s living life large.