Aging, Chapter 989
My previous blog posts on the aging process notwithstanding, I’d have said I was doing fairly well overall in the aging department.
Enter a grandchild. There is nothing that will disabuse one of the notion that you are doing fairly well in the aging process like the arrival of a grandchild.
First, can we talk about the misnomer of the phrase Aging Process? It really is a euphemism. Because, when I hear the words Aging Process, I think wine. I think cheese. Delicious things that only get better with age. In fact, it is the Aging Process that brings these things to the height of their perfection.
That is not what happens with we humans. The Aging Process is the reverse of that. It is the declining of our previous youthful state, which is as close to perfection the human body will ever get. Really, it should be called the Decaying Process. Or What Happened to my Mind and Body Process. Or One Step Closer to the End of the Line Process. But I suppose those are a bit harsh and some might find it harder to maintain a state of false reality that we are in fact, doing ok and the end is not near.
Which brings us back to the grandchild.
These little nuggets will quickly remind you that yes, you are 62. Not 32. And that no matter how well you are keeping fit- ab crunches, squats, planks, gym memberships, yoga, pilates, oatmeal, acai, kale, broccoli, salmon, nuts and seeds you do and/or consume, the little munchkinheads will prove that it has mostly been all in vain.
There you are, down on the ground playing with your little toddler grandchild. Getting down on the ground to play with your grandchild is not the issue. Getting back up is.
The legs, the knees, the whole apparatus suddenly seems to have forgotten how the process of getting up off the floor works. One must employ one’s arms, and a piece of furniture to hold on to, and slowly, gently, one knee and leg at a time, raise yourself up.
Whatever you do, do not attempt to get up off the floor while holding your grandchild. That is a recipe for disaster resulting in either one or both of you getting hurt in some way. Also, do not try to sit down on the floor while holding your grandchild. I tried this once and it resulted in me falling and my granddaughter bumping her head on her wooden rocking chair.
How you sit is key, also. Do not, repeat, do not try to sit with your calves on the floor and your butt on your heels. The ankles will atrophy very quickly in this position, making it near impossible to return to and stay in, an upright position. Best to sit with your butt on the floor.
As we are at the toddler stage, this means that you can never sit down (unless she is) and never take your eyes off her. She is a ball of energy and wants to go, go, go. You love her to pieces and want to go, go, go with her. So you do. You walk around the yard 20 times looking at her favorite things as she points them out to you and wants you to name them: water fountain, Dionsysus the god of wine, Namaste Frog in the garden, windchimes, Bruce the Bull metal planter, tree, bush, bird bath. This happens inside the house too. Table, chair, lamp, window, picture.
I thought now that she is walking, I wouldn’t have to hold her so much. She was 23 pounds at her one year check up. 90th percentile for height. Hefting her on to my hip requires a feat of super human strength. Who needs a gym when you have a grandkid? Of course, I seem to only be able to do this on my right side. So my left side is becoming underdeveloped relative to my right.
But no, she still loves for me to pick her up.
We read books, play games, sing songs, dance, walk. We are in constant motion. At the end of the day, I collapse in a heap on the couch unable to form complete sentences.
I have discovered the Recovery Ratio. It takes 2 days to recover for every 1 day spent with her.
In addition to the total physical exertion that is required of grandparenting, there’s the other physical aspect of it-your actual physical health.
No one warned me that your grandchildren were walking petri dishes and that your immunities were no longer up to the task of fighting off whatever the illness of the week is that they are carrying. Sometimes, they are carrying more than one illness at a time. My granddaughter hit a trifecta of three different viruses at once a few months ago.
This came as a bit of a shock to me when my granddaughter started daycare at 7 months of age.
Within two weeks of her starting day care, she has been in a perpetual state of being sick. I think they call it the Daycare Drip. Constant colds, coughs, runny nose. Occasional fevers. Hand Foot Mouth made the rounds a couple of months ago. RSV is making the rounds now.
The spin everyone puts on this is, “Hey this is great! It helps build their immunity” or “It’s going to happen at some point when they start school, might as well get it over with now.”
But what they don’t tell you, is that as grandparents, apparently our immune systems are no match for their illnesses.
On my second cold turned sinus infection (because I can’t seem to get a cold anymore without it turning into a sinus infection) within 2 months, while the doctor was prescribing me yet another Z-pack, we had the following conversation:
Me: I don’t understand, doctor. I hardly ever get sick. I can’t even remember the last time I had a cold (not counting Covid). I thought I had pretty good immunity from this stuff.
Dr: Well, you are older now. Your body hasn’t seen a lot of these viruses she is carrying for awhile. And you know, as you age, your immune system isn’t like what it was when you were younger.
Me: What?
Dr: Yes, this happens to a lot of grandparents when their grandchildren start daycare. Don’t worry, it won’t last forever. You have maybe another year or so to get past it.
Me: What?
So yes. Being a grandparent is not for the faint of heart. It will wear you out physically, might even actually get you sick. It will definitely remind you that you are 62 and not 32 and that there’s a reason Mother Nature made it so that women cannot have babies forever.
But. It will fill your heart with so much joy and love that none of that matters. And when your daughter calls to ask if you still want them to come down for the weekend because the baby has a cold, you answer: Absolutely, yes.
Because one of the actual great things about aging is the wisdom one gains. And you know that life is short, that they will only be little for so long, and you do not want to miss a minute of it.