A-P-H-I-D-S

A little research goes a long way when planting trees in your yard.  If your research however only consists of walking around your neighborhood and thinking, “Oh, that is a pretty tree, I like that one”, you may be in for some surprises. 

Some years ago, when we put in a patio in our backyard, we needed a couple of shade trees.  My neighbor had just put in these beautiful River Birches and I loved them.  The way the bark looked like paper, and peeled and curled, and the variegated color of it was just so pretty.  The leaves and the canopy were pretty too.  It was such a graceful and elegant tree. 

In went two River Birches next to our patio.  The landscaper put Spirea, Carpet Roses, Purple Sages and some other pretty flowers in the bed with the trees.  It was all so lovely.

My first clue that maybe we might face some challenges, was that after the trees were in, the landscaper was telling me to be sure to run the hose for a steady stream of water.  I thought he just meant until the trees were established.

No.  You see, the clue is in the name.  River Birch.  River. River, is the operative word.  Seems these trees’ natural habitats are near rivers.  Meaning, they need water.  Lots of water. 

It wasn’t long before every plant that was planted in that bed died.  From lack of water.  Because the trees sucked up all the water, any water, that was in the ground.  Their roots are shallow.  Only my spirea still live, by some miracle.  I now have to use planters and hanging baskets to add color to that bed. 

The next thing one needs to research is how dirty is the tree?  Never even occurred to me that some trees are dirtier than others, meaning how much debris and such they shed. Previously, if I heard the words dirty and tree together, I’d have thought it had to do with the fact that trees grow in the dirt. 

Turns out the River Birch is pretty dirty. 

First, it sheds twigs all year. 

Next, during the spring, the pollen is everywhere.  We cannot  keep our kitchen window or the dining room door open as a fine layer of pollen will cover every surface in both those rooms.  “What kind of spice is that on top of my food,” someone over for dinner might ask us.  “Oh, sorry.  No.  That’s just a topping of pollen, hold on, let me get you a new serving,” would be my response.

Then, also in the spring, they shed their seed pods, called catkins (file that for an answer to a possible Jeopardy question, or crossword puzzle, you’re welcome).  These things are littered all over our patio and require almost daily blowing.

The trees are not done shedding yet, though.  Pretty much all summer, these trees will start shedding their leaves.  Thought trees only dropped leaves in the fall? Not these babies.  At the least little sign of distress, such as it being just a little too hot, and when in the Delaware Valley, during the summer is it never just a little too hot, the leaves start falling down.  The leaf blower is in constant use spring through fall.  Trying to keep our patio and outdoor furniture free from twigs, catkins, leaves, and pollen is a full time job.

But that is not the worst of it.

The pièce de résistance? Aphids.  Apparently, these little buggers love River Birches. 

Which is why I can’t understand if they love the River Birches so much, why are they all over my patio furniture?  Tiny little bugs crawling all over the table and chairs.  You know, where we sit and eat al fresco. 

So, if you don’t like a topping of pollen on your food, pretty sure you are not gonna like a sprinkling of aphids.  Let alone them crawling from the chair you are sitting on to your actual body.  Before that skeeves you too much, I did find out they are harmless.  Phew. But still.

Quick phone call to a pest control company took care of the problem.  They came out, diagnosed that those little bugs were in fact aphids and then sprayed something around the base of the trees.  Aphids were gone.

Every spring I’d call the same company and they’d come out and do their thing.  Until last spring, when the estimate I had gotten was ridiculously high.  I decided to call around to a few other places.

No other company even understood what I was talking about.  The conversations pretty much went like this:

Me: Hi, I am calling to get an estimate on aphid removal.

Them:  I am sorry, what kind of removal?

Me: Aphids.

Them: Could you spell that?

Me: A-P-H-I-D-S

Them: What are aphids?

Me: Little bugs that are in my river birch trees.

Them: Oh.  Sorry, we don’t treat bugs in trees.  You will need to call an arborist or something like that.

Argh.  Apparently, the pest control company I have been using is the only one who treats bugs in trees.  Maybe they figured that out and that’s why their rates increased so much.

Turns out, per our neighbor, that we can just buy something called Drench at Lowe’s or Home Depot and pour it around the base of the trees ourselves.  Way cheaper, as a bottle only costs like $30 or $40 bucks.

Also found out that Lady Bugs love to eat Aphids.  Did you know that you can order a whole bunch of Lady Bugs and have them delivered to you? The only thing, who is to say they will stay in your yard and not fly away?  Who’s to say they won’t decide to try aphid dining on some other trees in the neighborhood for a change of pace?

I’d like to blame this all on the landscaper.  Surely, he should have known all of this and warned us about it.  I remember asking him if it was ok to plant the trees so close to the patio and the house.  He said, yes, no problem.  Google says otherwise.  They should be planted at least 20 feet away from your patio and house. Those shallow roots are now pushing up the pavers in our patio.

There you have it.  Your cautionary tale.  Don’t judge a tree by its bark.  At least not before doing your research first.